You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
