We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
