I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I need help removing her.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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