Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
