she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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