I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just pynch a tree in the face
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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