dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
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