Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Send help, water and tortillas.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize