I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
