My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
