No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
This is classic penis vs brain.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
