Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
