Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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