Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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