You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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