After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
