Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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