i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
