im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
