don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
