dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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