I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
