like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
