Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
