sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
