Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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