Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
