You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
