when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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