youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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