i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
