This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
