So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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