Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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