So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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