I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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