i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
