Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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