yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
She's JV to your varsity
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
