So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
