Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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