A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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