i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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