Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm jealous of your bromance
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
