I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
