I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
