their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
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