My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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