at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
