Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize