This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
