you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize