I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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