I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
