Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
