Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
