Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
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