i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
There's always time for handjobs
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
