I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
